Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, (from the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves) has a greater impact on teams than IQ. The authors describe four factors that determine EQ, and we can all learn from them (whether you are a boss or an employee, self-employed, or not currently employed).
Leaders often find a low EQ undermines their leadership, because this is stuff that is harder to control with systems or strategies, yet it affects everyone who follows us!
The good news is that you can grow your EQ. But first you need to assess your current status.
Let's consider each area in turn:
Firstly self-awareness (my ability to accurately perceive my emotions, and to be aware of them as they happen). This is an area I found I could build on when I took the EQ profile. There was room for improvement in my awareness of my emotions. No surprise when you consider I am English and we are not renowned for our emotional self-awareness! How about you? How would you rate your own self-awareness? Difficult isn't it? It may help to think about a time when you were upset with a customer or co-worker: how did you handle your emotions in that moment?
Secondly, comes self-management; which takes self-awareness and uses it to direct my behavior in positive directions (flexibility is a key part of this). Again, I found I scored "Room for improvement" on my profile, which is the result of my merely moderate self-awareness! Even if you rated yourself highly on self-awareness, try asking yourself about a time when you faced a new challenge that made you nervous. How did you channel your nerves into good performance or outcomes? That will give you a measure of your self-management.
The third area is social awareness. this is the skill of noticing emotions in others and understanding what is really going on. I was encouraged to find that I scored well on this: I'm better at noticing what is going on in others than I am at knowing my own internal status. How about you? When a coworker or client was upset with you but didn't let on, did you notice that, or sense it? And what did you do with that awareness? That will give you clues about whether this is an area that needs to be exercised in your leadership.
Finally, just as self-awareness leads to self-management, so social awareness leads to relationship management. This is the ability to use awareness of emotions to manage interactions successfully. And this is at the heart of leadership, because leadership is influence; the art and science of interacting with others for greater outcomes. To get a reading of this in your life, consider the last time you arrived at work upset about something (maybe the traffic, or an action of a family member) but you had to interact with a boss, customer, or colleague who was also upset. How did that go? Were you able to not allow what happened earlier to affect your attitude at work?
Your answers to these four areas of reflection will move you toward an understanding of your EQ. And if you can increase your EQ, your leadership will benefit, big time!
Next time we will look at ways I can grow my EQ.