Why don’t people ask for help?

We are an independent bunch, aren’t we?!

It can be hard to ask for support, whether through embarrassment or pride, even when we know help would benefit us.

Our culture decries weakness. Incompetence is anathema. Everyone else seems to be doing great.

The curse of social media is that we filter out failure and mediocrity, sharing only the best and most impressive fragments of our lives.

We are often our own worst enemy; that deep-seated belief that it’s unacceptable to ask for help (whether inherited or self-inflicted) is hard to break. Admitting need seems so un-American. After all, aren’t we the greatest nation? Isn’t it our birthright to be the strong and the brave?

I meet many people who could flourish with a bit of help. I’m not advocating cultivating dependence on outside sources (government or charity). Instead, I’m sounding the call for interdependence to replace independence; for a community that offers mutual help rather than the bland results of self-help alone.

There are two mistakes to avoid. 

The first is to go it alone. We need what you have, and we have what you need. Let’s collaborate and grow together.

The second mistake is more subtle and thus easy to make: promoting community by giving to others without accepting what they have to offer you. 

You may be making a difference by helping others. Bravo! 

Kudos to you for recognizing that independent strength isolates and impoverishes. You’ve taken a massive step to put forward your strengths for the benefit of others. Why not take a moment now and mentally look around you? Who has something to offer you? How might you be reinforced as a resource to others by asking for help or input from someone in your circle who has a strength you lack?

Let’s benefit one another by receiving as well as giving.

Maybe I can help you? How can you help me? 

Let’s talk.