Holidays, relatives, distress

Before Thanksgiving I wrote about results through relationships. That post was well-received and I have had several opportunities to help individuals, couples, and businesses as a result.

Now we are in the holiday season, and we have first-hand opportunities to see similar principles during gatherings for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year and so on. Whenever you put groups of people together there is potential for results through relationships.

If the gathering is in an unfamiliar setting (such as a distant relative’s home), or the gathering changes the dynamics of a familiar setting (with many more people than usual in your living space), the results can easily become dysfunctional!

In Life Languages™ terms, we can easily descend into distress when those around us don’t understand our preferred communication styles. We can also unintentionally cause distress to family and friends if we don’t take their differing styles into consideration.

Now, dysfunction isn’t guaranteed! I have been encouraged by feedback from several clients that this year’s Thanksgiving was much smoother than past events, in part because they understood the four keys for success for each Life Language. Those with experience in identifying which of the seven languages we are speaking in a specific interaction saw even more benefits.

Sadly, the lack of understanding of the science of communication is one of the most avoidable causes of relationship distress over the holidays. Whether at the office party or the family gathering. It saddens me because it’s preventable. Distress is an unconscious invitation to help, not a pre-meditated attempt to sabotage your celebrations. But you can only help if you understand. Why would you deprive your relatives of that understanding, or contribute to their distress?

Let’s invest more resources in character-based communication and take the initiative to understand those around us.

I’m ready to help you.